Suzi Pitts

1 Kings 19:11 

The Lord said to Elijah, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. 

It was the spring of 2005, and our son, Tommy, was playing varsity lacrosse at Severn School in Annapolis, Maryland. Lacrosse is to Maryland what football is to Texas; A. Really. Big. Deal. I was in the stands for all of the games and was a super-expressive fan (I know- big surprise). Mid-season, I had such a consistently hoarse voice that I went to my doctor. I was diagnosed with “screamers’ nodules”. Screamers’ nodules? They couldn’t call them something else, like “cheerleaders’ voice”? How embarrassing and decidedly un-Christian, un-feminine, and shaming. Prescription? Vocal rest and speech therapy. Vocal rest means less talking, no whispering, no yelling or singing. That’s torture for an expressive extrovert like me. How will I show support and enthusiasm? How will I even call the kids down for dinner? So, I sat in the bleachers silent. At home, I was sure no one could hear me.

I’d lost my power voice.

But then I think of God’s voice in my life. Is it booming and loud? Or is it a gentle whisper of the Holy Spirit’s nudging? In the passage from 1 Kings, Elijah is instructed by God to witness the Lord passing by. As we read, it’s not in the powerful wind or the earthquake or the fire, God’s presence was heard in a gentle whisper. God revealed God’s self in gentleness. When we want to hear from God, scripture repeats the theme, “Be still and know that I am God.” So, why do I think that I need to be powerful to be heard? In the gospel of Mathew Jesus identifies himself as gentle; “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart.” As a Christ-follower, I yearn to emulate Jesus, right? So then. . . 

Back to Annapolis in 2005. My speech therapist taught me to speak a bit lower and much softer. I actually cried to my husband lamenting that I wasn’t even me anymore. He said he loved my soft, gentle voice. But do you know what also happened? When I spoke softer, my kids had to stop and incline their ears to hear me. Hmmmmmm. It works! Maybe I should write a book.

Prayer:

Loving God, How merciful you are that you beckon us to yourself again and again. You are all-powerful and all-loving, wrapped in gentleness. Remind me, God, of your beautiful voice. Amen.