Rachel Fisher, Children’s Ministries Communications Specialist

Romans 12:1-3 (NLT)
And so, dear brothers and sisters, I plead with you to give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him. 2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

3 Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.

Reflection:
It has recently come to my attention—in a rather dramatic way—that I am terrible with boundaries. I want to be everything to everyone, and most of the time, I enjoy that standard. I like being someone others seek. I relish having a reliable and well-received reputation. I strive to maintain “a seat at the table,” and I have hustled hard to earn my spot there.

But friends, that is exhausting.

2021 came in hot, and I was READY: a new vaccine, a new sense of purpose, a new set of goals. This was going to be MY year; I could feel it in my bones.

Spoiler alert: it has not been my year. In fact, I would venture to say 2021 has been harder than 2020.

I am immensely privileged in that everyone in my family has managed to stay healthy, and for that, I am incredibly grateful to 2021. However…on an internal side, 2021 has been rough.

2020 changed me in many ways. I have found myself struggling with decisions left and right, asking a million questions that transport me into a very confusing place. The more clouded my judgment becomes, the harder I work myself, convinced that if I just put forth more effort or take on more responsibilities, then I will be magically transformed into the person I aspire to be: a good person. Once I achieve my goals through relentless drive and hard work, then I will finally convince myself and others that I am a “good” person. No matter how much effort I exert, though, that feeling of “good enough” never comes.

Did you catch that? My work makes me good. This is a formula many of us are trying to make work, but in God’s kingdom it just does not compute.

We miss the mark when we believe we can work to be good. We miss the mark when we trick ourselves into thinking our blessings are a product of our behaviors and customs. No, we are “good” because God is good. We are good because God says so time and time again.

When I was in college, I experienced what I can only define as an epiphany. I had spent a season in a slump, and I felt as though everything I touched turned to failure. One night during a worship service, Psalm 107 was read aloud, and I felt a wave of relief wash over me:

 1 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
 his love endures forever.
2 Let the redeemed of the Lord tell their story—
 those he redeemed from the hand of the foe,
3 those he gathered from the lands,
 from east and west, from north and south.
4 Some wandered in desert wastelands,
 finding no way to a city where they could settle.
5 They were hungry and thirsty,
 and their lives ebbed away.
6 Then they cried out to the Lord in their trouble,
 and he delivered them from their distress.
7 He led them by a straight way
 to a city where they could settle.
8 Let them give thanks to the Lord for his unfailing love
 and his wonderful deeds for mankind,
9 for he satisfies the thirsty
 and fills the hungry with good things.

I have once again come to realize the measures by which I have been evaluating myself are leading me away from God. Destruction and death only come from thinking we can make ourselves good. Resetting our mindset away from merit-based worth will take a while. But we have Jesus to guide us there with his love. And that is all we need, thank goodness.

Prayer:
Dear Lord, thank you for your steadfast goodness. While everything else falls away, you stand strong, holding me up even when I falter. Help me lean on you in all stages of life. Teach me to seek you first and point others to your perfect love. Amen.