Louise McEvoy, Guilty of being an Elder Son at times, Life Member of the Ted Lasso Fan Club

 

Luke 15:25-32

25 “Now his elder son was in the field; and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 He called one of the slaves and asked what was going on. 27 He replied, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fatted calf, because he has got him back safe and sound.’ 28 Then he became angry and refused to go in. His father came out and began to plead with him. 29 But he answered his father, ‘Listen! For all these years I have been working like a slave for you, and I have never disobeyed your command; yet you have never given me even a young goat so that I might celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours came back, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fatted calf for him!’ 31 Then the father said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32 But we had to celebrate and rejoice, because this brother of yours was dead and has come to life; he was lost and has been found.’”

 

 

Reflection:

I am an absolute shameless fan of Ted Lasso, the Apple TV show about an American football coach starting a new life in England. It is hilarious, but most importantly, it pulls at all my heartstrings. There are life lessons sprinkled in every episode.

 

In a now-legendary dart game, Coach Lasso brilliantly delivers one of these perfect life lessons by using a Walt Whitman quote, “Be curious, not judgmental.” Ted talks about being an underdog and says: “All them fellas that used to belittle me, not a single one of them were curious. They thought they had everything all figured out. So they judged everything, and they judged everyone. And I realized that their underestimating me… who I was had nothing to do with it. ‘Cause if they were curious, they would’ve asked questions.” Be curious. Interesting.

 

Today’s scripture is the second half of the famous Parable of the Prodigal Son (aka the Parable of the Two Brothers). If I’m being honest, I wish the elder son watched this episode of Ted Lasso. I wish that he was curious and not judgmental about his brother’s return. I mostly wish he was more curious about his gracious father and his father’s extravagant grace. But as Ted Lasso mentions – who they were had nothing to do with the elder son’s frustration and anger.

 

What lessons are gained when you are curious? What answers and insights could benefit your relationships when you ask questions about the other person? What would have happened if this elder son had asked, “Brother, what is going on with you? And what journey have you been on? What brought you home?” or “Dad, why are you welcoming the son who so greatly disrespected you?” or “Why is it so important to you that he comes back into the family?” or “Father, what can I learn from this very difficult and painful situation?” We don’t really know the answer, but perhaps we can imagine that the elder son could have seen the cause for celebration and joined in, instead of showcasing his adult-sized temper tantrum (that I imagine every time I read this passage). We do not know the elder son’s final words that evening. Jesus does not share them. Some scholars believe this ending is an opportunity for self-reflection. 

 

Next time we are ready to fire off immediate judgment (I am speaking from experience here), let’s consider being curious first. Try to find out the other person’s story and why they made those choices. We may not like the answers, but we may also get some unexpected responses and insight. Let’s pray and talk to God. Let’s be curious about what God may be trying to teach us in these circumstances. We can find comfort in knowing that, like the father in this parable, God’s arms are open wide, and God welcomes these conversations. Barbecue Sauce.

 

Prayer:

Gracious and loving Father,

It is far too easy to cast immediate judgment on folks who do not think like me or behave like me. I don’t want to know their story. I just want to stay in my comfort zone and be self-righteous. Yet, I know that is not what Jesus would do. Help me to be curious and not judgmental. Enhance and fine-tune my listening skills so I can learn and grow together with others. Amen.