Rachel Fisher

Ephesians 3:14-21 (NIV)

14 For this reason I kneel before the Father, 15 from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. 16 I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, 21 to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

Reflection:
Last month, my family and I traveled to Hawaii, spending a week relaxing by the pool, soaking up paradise, and drinking many a mai tai. Our resort was the perfect place to unwind, but it also offered a heaping dose of fun, specifically in the form of water slides! Thrill-seekers may select an open-air route with a waterfall finish or choose an enclosed tube of twists and turns, encouraging races between travelers — in my case, my parents, siblings, and me. 

“I think that’s it for me,” my mom resolved on our last day in Hawaii, swimming back to our home base of lounge chairs after several rounds of competition. My brother echoed her sentiment and joined the rest of our family…but I was not satisfied. No, I announced that I desired to go down each slide at least one more time, content to do so with only my adrenaline keeping me company. 

As I jaunted up the entry stairs, I was met with a line of three or four children eagerly awaiting their turns on the attraction. Taking my place in the queue, I suddenly became keenly aware of my (comparatively) extreme height, standing at least a foot taller than my counterparts. 

Lingering with a newfound sense of awkwardness, I approached the top of the landing. “What the heck am I doing up here?” I thought to myself. “I look like an idiot, a loser of a woman trying to squeeze herself onto these kiddie-rides.” Feeling the burning disapproval of the lifeguard on duty (note, he was nothing but pleasant, this was merely my internal dialogue), I was slapped in the face with everyone’s favorite follow-up act to embarrassment: shame.

My feelings suddenly turn from “this is ridiculous” to “you are ridiculous.” This all-too-familiar sensation is a spiraling, sinking pit of self-loathing, transcending my current predicament and sliding (pun intended) into every unique facet of my personality and pursuits…even the parts of me I love. 

As quickly as these conclusions ruminated, it was my turn on the slide. “No going back now,” I defeatedly muttered under my breath. Sinking down into the flowing water amid the man-made rock structure, I gripped the hard plastic and braced myself for departure. With a thumbs-up from the lifeguard, I pushed myself forward, letting the waves and gravity carry me below. 

And then I began to laugh.

Sloshing up the sides of the funnel, I was consumed with giddiness, releasing all inhibitions and just flat-out enjoying myself. Reaching the final curve, I flew from the mouth of the slide, straight into the deep-end, resurfacing with a massive splash, wide grin, and zero regrets.

Friends, we are meant to live—not just fall in line, but truly, deeply live. So why do we subject ourselves to imprisonment of conformity? And then impede on others’ joy with our harsh judgments and prejudices? Why do we not embrace how wide and long and high and deep Christ’s love is and reject his invitation to dwell in our hearts eternally? 

Because that’s what happens when we shrink into shame: we become less than. God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, so who are we to try and muffle that flame? I wish I could say I always overcome my doubt and fear, but sometimes…oftentimes…it gets the best of me. Sometimes I sulk from the water slide (literally and metaphorically) and retreat into submission. And even when I do advocate for my own happiness, I am frequently met with an inner-critic that loves to bark out all the reasons I’m making the wrong decision.

Thankfully, God strengthens us through his Spirit in our own inner being: ironically, the very roadblock we must overcome. How, then, do we harness this power for good? By being rooted and established in love. When we let go of our shame, we allow ourselves to be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. We do exactly for what Jesus died on the cross: we live.

Prayer:
Heavenly Father, thank you for your joy. Thank you for every spark of hope, light, goodness, and love, which all originate from you. Help us to find that peace in every situation, giving thanks and praising your name forever. Amen.