Rachel Fisher

Philippians 3:13-14 

13 Beloved, I do not consider that I have made it my own; but this one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the heavenly call of God in Christ Jesus.

Reflection:

During the summer Olympics, 7-time gold medalist Caleb Dressel was interviewed about his routines outside the pool, citing journaling—among other daily practices—as a critical factor toward achieving excellence. “I know this stuff really does sound stupid, but this is one of the reasons why I think I’ve seen some success in this sport—the tiny little habits,” he explains. “I really consider being successful in this sport as just dropping pennies in the bank. And that’s what I’m doing every day when I do these stupid, mundane little tasks.”

Few traits place me in the same playing field as Dressel, but I wholeheartedly echo his sentiments on the advantages of keeping a journal. Having maintained one on-and-off since adolescence, I have discovered an undeniable improvement in my quality of life now that I have contributed to my diary daily for several years.

I tend to write before I go to sleep, emptying my mind and addressing the good, the bad, and the ugly of the prior 24 hours. Short-term, journaling benefits my mental health in that I am allowed to release whatever is plaguing me, disassembling my often difficult-to-comprehend emotions and giving me space to think clearly with fewer distractions. And long-term…the rewards are even richer.

Just this morning, I was telling my friend that I am one entry away from completing my current journal. She asked what I did with a book once its pages were full, and I divulged that I keep them in an easily-accessible desk drawer because I love to revisit my earlier entries. I find it so gratifying to reflect on how far I have come, how the things upon which I placed so much stress no longer bother me. I am able to walk the line from Point A to Point B and the many twists and turns it took to get there.

Yet, Dressel disagrees with me: “When I close the pages, the problems—good or bad—are over, I learn from it, and move on,” he declares, discarding his journals when they are completed.

To be blunt, the idea of throwing away my old journals makes me ill. How could I part with such important, intimate relics? Then it presents a moral dilemma: am I disobeying God for clinging to my bygone musings?

Time and time again, the Bible tells us to abandon our past and face the future head-on with nothing holding us back. But what of learning from our former mistakes? If we were to forget all that had transpired, would not we simply fail repeatedly in identical fashion?

And what of gratitude? How are we supposed to see God’s movement in the “big picture” if all we are allowed is presence in the current moment? Where would we be without the grace provided by our retelling of miracles, forgiveness, and most powerfully, Christ’s love?

In my heart, I do not believe it is a sin to cherish the memories of our previous personas. However, we must heed Paul’s warning and embrace the promise of freedom in fresh beginnings. When we get caught up in our historic accomplishments and transgressions, the slippery slope of self-righteousness opens a clear pathway to destruction. Vanity in the victories and shame for the mistakes is the crime we are commanded to avoid by not looking back. What we can do, though, is cling solely to Christ’s movement from our past, giving us reassurance as we move head-on into the future.

As I conclude my journal tonight, I might not throw it away like Caleb Dressel would. But undoubtedly I will thank God that it is finished today. And I will thank God that—no matter what was written in my last book—I may open a new page tomorrow.

Prayer: 

Almighty God, you are Alpha and Omega, maker of Heaven and Earth. Praise be to you in your wondrous creation of time. Thank you that I may be here, in this place, with these people, for a moment. Keep me close in my waking and in my sleeping, giving me a heart for gratitude and the faith to know you will see me through everything. In your son’s name, who gave his life so that I may be forgiven time and time again. Amen.